Before You Prepare your Suitcase, Prepare Your Heart

Our team is getting so excited and we are nearing our departure to Monte Cristi, DR on April 7th.  I have several lists and plenty left to prepare and pack before we leave.   It feels good to gather items and then place a check on the list!

At the very top of my list is "prepare my heart" for this trip.    This is a hard one and it takes time.  How do I know when I've accomplished this task?  When should I check this one off?   As time ticks away, I'm realizing that this is by far the most important thing I should be doing in order to prepare. 

I am not only going into another culture to talk about Jesus; I am planning to be Christ to the people I meet. The people in the DR will associate my behavior, attitude and character with that of Jesus. It is not enough to talk about Christ; I need to imitate Him.   This takes time; it’s not something I can cram for the week before I leave. It takes discipline and a willingness to allow the Holy Spirit to search my heart and shape me into the image of Christ.   I am so grateful that  His strength is sufficient to meet every need I have, however deep, however immediate.   Zechariah 4:6 “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,” says the Lord Almighty.” 

I am so amazed that God chooses such ordinary people to serve in His name.   What glorious team of women God has assembled!  

Now off to the most important task...preparing my heart and spending time with Jesus.  

Renueveme

Just a Closer Walk with Thee

I decided to step it up a bit this morning and try a walk/run combination. My goal was to accomplish more benefit from my exercise routine in a shorter amount of time and then head to my office to finish a few details for Sunday. Well, as the saying goes from the poem, To a Mouse by Robert Burns, "the best laid plans of mice and men."


Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!
Plain and simply stated:
But little Mouse, you are not alone,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!


I headed out the door with my cell phone, iPod all set with my Spanish Lessons, and with the determination to get into some serious shape! Everything was going wonderfully. I was repeating Spanish phrases and running at the time same. What an accomplishment, this is exactly what I had planned. I stopped for just a moment and felt incredible pain in my shins. I was able to rest on a bench under a tree in a town home community nearby. I was massaging my legs and hoping that I would be able to stand back up and make the walk back home. Suddenly, it hit me. Forget the plans because God is begging to meet with me right here, right now. My little section of the world became a sanctuary. How beautiful, I thought to myself. I began to sense the presence of God with me. I noticed the aged bark of tree and basked in the goodness of a God who is my strong tower and how he has been faithful through the ages. A yellow butterfly passed by with such grace and beauty. I was reminded of the new life I have in Christ and how grateful I am for His continual transformation of my life. I was overwhelmed with promised joy. I am thankful that God stopped me and even thankful for the pain in my shins. After I enjoyed this time with my God for a while, I continued on way home. My run/walk combination became a steady walk. "Just a closer walk with thee." I noticed my creator and spent the remainder of my time with Him. I found Him everywhere I set my gaze. I clicked a few photos with my phone so that I will never forget my encounter with the Living God on bench, in the middle of a town home community, on an ordinary Friday morning. My plans for the rest of the day are as follows: chase hard after Christ, knowing full well that all else needed will be given to me.  Have a blessed weekend friends.

Seasonal Confusion

What an incredible winter day.  As I set my gaze upon my backyard, I can't help but take in the beauty of the day.  The sky is blue, the sun is shining and the temperature is an unusually warm 60 degrees on this Valentine's Day.   From the comfort of my Adirondack chair, I can see that the lawn remains covered with a blanket of white snow.  The covered area is receding as the rays of the sun reflect its warmth upon it.   It is a bit odd to sit in the warm sun, watch squirrels frolic together, listen to the sound of the remaining fallen leaves crackle against the ground in the wind and behold the sight of budding Bradford Pear trees --- all in one sitting in the middle of February. How awesome is our God?  This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it!  I must say, however, I am feeling a little seasonal confusion.

As I sit in the quiet of my sweet sabbath Monday, I am beginning to wonder which season I most associate with at the moment.   Is this is a season of spring, summer, winter or autumn in my faith walk and relationship with God?    If I can be quiet and still enough to take notice of the little things such as the sound of blowing leaves or a few squirrels scampering about the trees, might today be a good day to take notice of the subtleties occurring in my life.  

We often say things like, "I can't believe it's autumn already.  Where did the summer go?"   Or, we might say, I can't believe it's Christmas, where did the autumn go?"     Seasons seem to change so quickly, but subtle changes are happening all the while.   It is a process which takes time, with God's beautiful and perfect design.   We simply fail to take notice of the subtleties taking place all around us.     I think the same holds true for each one of us.   Little behaviors and habits slip in, or unhealthy choices begin to slowly infiltrate our lives.  All of sudden we find ourselves far away from God, in unhealthy relationships, using our tongues in ways we shouldn't or failing to care for own health.   Each of us can name our own undesired outcome.  Seasons do change, but there are minute changes happening all of the time which eventually bring us into an entirely new season.

As I sit here in the sun, listening to the wind chimes blow in the wind I feel an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort that God intends for me to feel seasonal confusion.    God is asking me to die to self each and everyday. Some habits and choices need a funeral in my life which are hindering what God wants to do in me.  He is calling me to a season of winter.   God is calling me to delight in Him, find my joy in Him, and crawl up in His lap under a tree and rest.  God is calling me to summer.    God is calling me to a time of preparation, self-examination, and to study His Word.   He is calling me to change and to allow Him to do some pruning and refining in my life.  Perhaps some leaves need to fall or change to a brilliant gold color.   God is calling me to a season of fall.   God is calling me to something new each and every day.  God is calling me to be as a budding flower and to be open to something new and beautiful He wants to do in and through me.   He wants to make all things new so that the  beautify of Christ can be seen and known.   God is calling me to spring.

February 14, 2011 is the perfect day.    What may appear as seasonal confusion is in actuality a beautiful reminder of the wonderful work God wants to do in our lives.   I think I'll sit here a while and take notice of the subtleties God brings to my mind.    "Search me O Lord, and mold me to reflect the beauty of Your Son in all seasons.   Amen."

"Operation Love Thy Neighbor"

I delivered cupcakes (originally planned to deliver freshly baked brownies…don’t even ask what happened there!) to 3 neighbors today and included invites to Trunk or Treat. Sounds easy for an extrovert, right?


I found this definition of extrovert: “(1) outgoing person: somebody who is sociable and self-confident; (2) somebody with interest outside self: somebody whose interests are directed outside the self.” The first part of the definition comes most easily.


The knock-knock/big smile/hand off of cupcakes came very easily for me. It only took about 5 minutes to do this. Now what about tomorrow? What about the follow up and the relational investment? That’s the cannonball jump for me. I am planning to have hot cider available on Sunday night as the neighbors head out for trick or treating.   However nice that may seem, the cupcakes and cider are not enough. In fact, that's the easy part. Impact begins when we notice and see the people Jesus misses the most.  Impact happens when we share time together…face to face.      Impact happens when our interests are directed outside of the self.   Impact happens if we stop long enough to connect with another person and genuinely care

It's time to jump into the lives of people, far beyond a wave and smile.


So I ask myself again...is that just a costume you're wearing? 

Is that just a costume you're wearing?

http://www.mountaincannonball.org/

Daily Devotions – Monday 10/25

.Making a Splash
Read Mark 9:33-35

A summer day + a few friends + a diving board = splash contest! The desire to make the biggest splash leads us to jump higher, lean farther, land harder and perfect the supreme cannonball. The same desire to make the biggest splash—to “be the greatest”—can happen in our lives. Notice how Jesus responds to the disciples’ discussion. Jesus does not condemn their desire, but redefines what it means to be great.

What is your strategy for making an impact in the world? How would you feel talking about your plans with Jesus? Spend a minute in prayer talking with God about how he can use you to pursue true greatness.

____________________________________________________________

Wow, I've spent some time this afternoon contemplating this one.   I think this may be part of the strategy God is calling me to follow:

Micah 6:8 (NIrV)


8 The Lord has shown you what is good.

He has told you what he requires of you.

You must treat people fairly.

You must love others faithfully.

And you must be very careful to live

the way your God wants you to. (humbly)



My prayer is that God would be teach me how to live in humble submission to His will for my life each day and that I would make the most of every opportunity. There are days when I realize I'm just fooling myself into thinking I've accomplished God's will for the day simply because it may fall under the umbrella of good ministry work.   Accolades can be poisonous if they lead us to the place where we realize we are trying to please man and not God.  
 
I also recognize that the impact I make is limited to the point that I allow God to impact my own life.    Impact happens when I allow God's will and desires for me to come crashing into the deepest place of my soul.  When I am aligned with that, only then can I respond with action to make an impact.
 
I proudly wore my Cannonball Tshirt yesterday which says, "Cannonball...all in and making waves."   I have on my cannonball bracelet today.   In the quiet, this question came to my mind:   Is that just a costume you're wearing, or do you really intend to live this out?  Are you gonna jump?
 
While I feel fairly confident of the answer, I dare not respond so hastily.   I want to wrestle with this one for awhile.    
 
I am thankful for the journey.  Although not an easy one, I am grateful for His presence.

Speechless, wordless and in awe of God

Led to Isaiah 43 tonight.

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. 3 For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush [a] and Seba in your stead.
4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you,
I will give nations in exchange for you, and peoples in exchange for your life.
5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you;


"Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it?  There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands."  Isaiah 43:18-19 (The Message) 

"Climb the ladder and walk to the edge of the board.  Don't look down, but look way out ahead and then jump!  Can you see me?  I'm already waiting for you in the pool and I've been here all along.  You're ready.  Now jump!"  (My message)


When one truly experiences God, words are inadequate.   I am left speechless, wordless and in awe of God in these moments.   Absolutely, positively speechless.   

I will conclude my writing with this:   He knows me, He finds me worthy of His love, His is not silent and He is most assuredly at work in my life.

I am closing my eyes and entering into rest as the journey continues.

Day 1 Debrief - Home from my mission trip. Now what?

Day 1 - REAL AND RAW

Time to lean into feelings, thoughts and next steps with God.  This is a scary and uncomfortable place for me.  I have been overwhelmed by the silence in my home today.  This is such a change from all that I experienced over the past 9 days in the Dominican Republic.  I miss the sounds of animals and motorcycles.  I miss the merengue and bachata music blaring from the bar down the road.  I miss the voices of my Dominican friends.   I miss the people I have grown to love, serve with and pray with.  I miss the church and worshipping with my brothers and sisters. "Cantaré de tu amor, Rendiré mi corazón ante ti, Tú serás me pasión, Y mis pasos se guiarán por tu voz.  Mi Jesús y mi Rey, De tu gran amor cantaré."

It grows increasingly more difficult for me to leave and separate myself from my Dominican brothers and sisters.  Monte Cristi feels like home.  La iglesia feels like my church home.  There were many moments when I felt that all that was missing was my husband and kids.  While in Monte Cristi, I felt as though I had everything else I could ever want or need. I felt wholly and completely in the center of God's will.   God has placed an incredible love and burden in my heart for these people. I thank God for this, but at the same time, I grapple with what it is that God expects me to do with this love and burden.   Have you ever been desperate to hear from God?   Have you ever asked Him the same questions over and over again?  Have you cried out vocally, in desperation?  Have you fallen to your knees and begged for God to speak?  Have you approached God without words and only offered sobs and moans?  Has He ever been silent?   Have you ever been there?  That's where I find myself, in a season of seeking but receiving silence. 

I suppose when God is silent, it is a reminder to us that He is sovereign and we are not. That He will speak when, and where, and how, AND when He full well pleases, and not just when we demand it.  His silence reminds us of His reality. You and I don't miss things that are not real. You and I don't long for unicorns (at least I hope we don't). When God is silent, it is so painful because we so badly need the reality of His presence in our lives and we need Him to speak to us.  That pain is a reminder of God's reality, I guess.

Today is painful, emotional and difficult.   I wonder if God is silent or if I am simply unable to hear His voice.    Has God already revealed His will and spoken?  Am I expecting far too much information and details from God?    There are times when I think I have discerned God's will for my life but I become paralyzed with fear of the unknown. I feel inadequate for such lofty goals and vision.   What if God is waiting on me to move?     During my prayer time today, with fear and trembling, I made a covenant before God to passionately invest my life in obeying Him and reaching the world no matter what role He has for me.   I will continue to cry out to the Lord:  "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening."Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."




Thank you, God.  Thank you.  

I am settling into this silence, waiting and listening for His still, small voice.   I will praise my Savior and sing of His love.

My Chronicles of the Grand Beginning

March 28, 2010, The Grand Beginning of Mountain Christian Church - Bel Air.

12:01 - Wide awake. Full of excitement and wonder about the day ahead. I try to envision the people we will meet in the morning. What are their lives like? Are they feeling anxious? Will this be their very first time in a church? I pray and thank God for all the people who will be setting their alarm clocks for the first time, or, for the first time in a very long time for church. I pray for a little boy named Ranon who may show up tomorrow with his grandfather. "Lord, let this little boy come to you, and let nothing hinder his way."

The middle of the night - ZZZZzzzzz for awhile. Slept in heavenly peace for a time. I am so excited, that I cannot stay asleep. I awaken and check the clock. I am so worried that I will oversleep or that the alarm clock will malfunction. It's around 3 a.m. and all is still and quiet. There truly is peace in the dark, quiet still of the night when you know that God is with you. There is a sense that the only 2 beings in the world right now are me and God. I tell God my fears, my hopes, my insecurities of self, and ask Him to work through me. I pray for our volunteer leaders and their teams. I am so thankful to God for all that He has done. I realize once again this truth: I AM and I am not. The great I AM is holding everything together. The great I AM is our provider for every need. The great I AM is stirring the hearts of those in the Bel Air community to come. I am simply a willing vessel to be used by God. He is the great I AM and I am not. Praise the Lord!

Back to sleep for a time: ZZZZzzzzz until 4:30 a.m. The alarms sounds. It's time. It's here. The day has finally come! I pray and ramble about a million petitions to God. I pray about there being enough goldfish crackers to someone accepting Christ!

4:45 a.m.: Time to pull out that new outfit my husband let me purchase. I really wanted to make an "I love woodchucks" T-shirt, but it just didn't happen. I hop in the shower and get ready for the day. I feel saturated with the Spirit and it is amazing. I notice God in everything, from the light in the bathroom to the shower water. It's crazy, but I am finding a praise and prayer in every moment. You are the light of the world, whoever follows you will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life. Taste the Living Water, and never thirst again. I pray this over the campus and the town of Bel Air. I drive in to John Carroll at 6:15 and as I see a glimpse of the morning breaking through the night sky, I cry. I am overwhelmed by my God. I thank Him over and over again for using me. I think back to my own transformation and I can't believe what God has done for me. I can't believe what I a doing with and for God now. "You have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty, for me to attain." Psalm 139:5 The 8 minute drive produced a personal psalm of praise.

JCS: Everyone is moving full speed ahead. We unload my mini-van, the trucks and cases are rolled into place. Our children's ministry team prays together in the cafeteria and then we begin the set up process. There is so much excitement in the air, it is almost palpable. We are a team with a mission to welcome a new community of young and old to meet Jesus.

I am praying for our leaders to arrive safely and on time. Everything is coming together beautifully. I am so proud to be a part of this staff and volunteer team.

Approx 8:45: Our entire team of staff and volunteers circled up in the hallway and we bathed the morning in prayer. It was a powerful and moving experience. It has happened, just as God had preordained. I, along with many others, are moved to tears.

Get ready, get set, GO: OPEN THE DOORS! People begin arriving. Some faces I recognize and many I do not. "Lord, let them see you. Let them see you." It is a short and simple prayer, but I was praying from the very depths of my soul. I met two apprehensive moms who needed some reassurance that their kids would be safe and in good hands. What an honor to meet them, comfort them, and talk with them. One mom said that it had been a very long time since she attended church, and she thought she'd give us a try. After service she shared how much she enjoyed the service and she plans on bringing her husband next week. I think the highlight of my day was meeting Ranon! This was the little boy I had been praying for all week. There he was, hair combed neatly and parted to the side, dressed in a suit jacket and plaid shirt and black dress shoes. He is 4 years old. I told him that a special friend of mine met his grandparents at the grocery store and told them about our church. I told him I was praying that he would be here today and that God answered my prayer. He smiled and then proceeded to tell me he knows how to spell his last name and then waived the palm branch he made today. Oh, I just love kids! It was the most beautiful encounter I have had in a long time. I believe this was my special gift today from God and I received it with open arms. I know Jesus will speak to this sweet, little spirit He created.

I take a visit to the Nursery/Toddler area and I see my daughters serving. Natalie is caring for Asher, our worship pastor's son in the toddler room. She is amazing with this little boy. She is the only person Asher wants to be with today and she is blessed by this. She smiles as she shares with another nursery worker, "he only wants me!" I love it! My daughter is now a children's minister and I am so proud of her. My oldest daughter is running tech for preschool and serving with our 2 year olds. Over in the Elementary area my husband is leading tech and training a highschool boy for ministry in this area. My 72 year old mother is holding babies and comforting them in the nursery. Again, I am overwhelmed by God's goodness.

I stopped into the worship auditorium and we began to sing "Salvation is Here." I sang out the words to that song with everything I had to give. "I know my God saved the day and I know his word never fails, and I know my God made a way for me. Salvation is here! Salvation is here and He lives in me." Have you ever experienced the power of the Holy Spirit as you proclaim who Jesus is, and that He is alive in you? There are no words to describe this. All I know is that my God is doing something in the hearts of the people here today and He IS alive in me. Our executive pastor shares a story with me about an elderly woman in a pink coat who was worshipping a few feet away from me. She was recently widowed and came to church today because we were in walking distance for her. He reminded me this is why we are here and I am again overwhelmed to be a part of God's amazing plan and part of the great commission.

Our elementary ministry team is rocking out with the kids singing, "Jesus, you are my best friend." I can't help myself as I jump into the crowd of kids begin singing and doing the crazy motions to the song. And, if you know me, I was definitely getting a little crazy! The message of the day is simple for those kids: "You are welcome here just the way you are. We've been waiting for you. Have fun, make friends and get to know Jesus! He wants to be your best friend."



There are simply no words to describe this day. So I say, Holy is the Lord, God almighty, the earth is filled with this glory. Thank you God for using me to further Your Kingdom. "For Your mercy in my life, when I deserve to die, you took my place. For cleansing every part of the places in my heart, where there was shame, there are no words to say thank you for all You've done. I praise You, Jesus. I love You, Jesus.



Today was the grand beginning of someone's walk with Jesus. To God be the glory! Sunday comes again this week...thank you Jesus.



He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. Revelation 21:6

Look Through the Window with 20/20 Vision

What do you see when you look out your window? 

I am captivated by the silvery sky and a large oak tree which is positioned off in the distance.  Its branches are bare and from my view it appears mammoth in size and canvasses the sky line.   It is almost completely dark outside but for the patch of sky which is ever so slightly giving light to the tree.  The tree, its trunk and many branches appear black against the fast approaching night sky.    Just in the moments spent typing this paragraph, I see the night descending and the daylight fading.   This happens day after day, without fail and I rarely stop to take notice.  This is amazing.  God is doing something right before my very eyes and it is amazing.

I asked my almost 13 year old daughter to look out of the same window and to tell me what she sees.  She replied by saying, "I see the sky, a tree that's blocking my view, dirty snow, some houses and cars."     Interesting observations and 100% correct.

Lately, I have been asking God to show me more and to expand my vision.  Yeah, maybe there is a big tree blocking me but how do I get around it?   Can I see beyond it?  If I can't move it, can it serve a purpose.  Can I envision what it could be?   Why is it there?  Is there something I can learn from this obstruction?  Is it really an obstacle at all, or is it something beautiful?

What does the world look like through Jesus' eyes.  What if we put on our son glasses and dared to ask God to give us 20/20 vision.    What would you see if you looked outside and beyond yourself?    Be thou my vision. 

Personal introspection and examination reveals to me that I am plagued with myopia.  I can see what is near and close to me but fail to see what is far in the distance.   I am asking God to give me His eyes and His vision.     One of my favorite contemporary Christian songs is by Brandon Heath and entitled "Give Me Your Eyes"    I am sharing the lyrics below and hope that you will join me as I make this my prayer to our great God.

Look down from a broken sky

Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touch down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me you heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what’s underneath
There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work, He's buying time

I’ve been here a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just move and pass me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
I need a second glance
Give me a second chance
To see the way you’ve seen the people all along

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5AkNqLuVgY

From Garden to City

From Garden to City



 
 
 
There are a lot of Bible reading plans out there. I wanted to share with you a plan I started on Ash Wednesday. There is online reading as well as a daily blog site. Stay connected to The Vine ~ Jenny
 
http://fromgardentocity.com/